


and it's better this time than ever before

by kokiche



Series: gon princess carrying killua [3]
Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Slight swearing, it's better this time than i've ever known, less self indulgent but still very Very self indulgent, theyre 16 and exchanging wedding vows, well its close We Are Getting There
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-28
Updated: 2015-09-28
Packaged: 2018-04-23 19:21:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4888954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kokiche/pseuds/kokiche
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's not enough to just say the L word. Gon has to mean it, too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	and it's better this time than ever before

**Author's Note:**

> (puts on bike helmet) We Are Entering Feels Territory Now... Tread At Your Own Risk

"It feels like you've been walking for hours," says Killua. "Don't you want a break?"

"Nah," says Gon, because he's on a mission, and he'll be damned if he doesn't give it his all.

"Okay," says Killua, and he burrows deeper into Gon's jacket. His hands are not around Gon's neck this time, but tucked into his armpits, folded up like ribbons across his chest. His eyelids are drooping down, eyes barely open.

"Are you going Sleeping Beauty on me, Killua?" Gon says after a while. There is a warm current of air that rolls along the meadow they're traversing.

"Not on your life," Killua answers, a few seconds late. He rubs his eyes with one hand. "I need to be pricked by some shit sleep spindle first anyway, right."

"I guess," Gon hums. "I don't really know how the story goes."

"What?" That wakes Killua up. "Even I've watched that movie. And my parents like, never let me watch movies." He shifts his head in a more comfortable position, his hair splaying into white strands against Gon. "You're such a fake, Gon. Using names from pop culture without knowing the context." He plays with the tab on the zipper of Gon's jacket, flicking it this way and that.

"Mmm, I don't see why you would need context. I called you Sleeping Beauty because you were sleeping, and you're a beauty."

If Killua wasn't fully awake before, he is now. Gon doesn't really have to look down at him to know. He's memorized the stunned silence, the conflicted expression.

"Shut up and let me sleep," Killua says, finally, turning his whole head agonizingly slow to cover his face into Gon's jacket.

"Okay," murmurs Gon, and continues trekking across the meadow, Killua quiet in his arms. The grass looks long and shiny, so it feels like he's wading through sunlight. The wind is nice and warm, and Killua is nicer and warmer.

Killua's voice is muffled when he speaks. "Why are you doing this for so long anyway?" is what Gon makes out.

Gon thinks. "I need to," he says simply.

Killua faces him again. "We're not in a rush to reach the city," he says, frowning. "And I can walk on my own."

"Well, yeah, but," Gon says, "I like carrying you."

Killua rolls his eyes, but his smile hides in his lips anyway. It's soft.

Gon lets the silence linger, then says, "I wanted to do the same for you." He squeezes Killua's shoulders involuntarily. "I wanted to do what you did for me."

"What do you mean?" Killua says.

"You carried me for hours out of NGL," says Gon. "Twice."

The silence is colder now, and the wind must have stopped. Killua has frozen in his arms.

"We're friends, Gon," Killua says. His voice is small but the feelings it hides are not. "You don't have to pay me back for that."

"That's not it," Gon says.

"Then what is it?" Killua's voice wavers. Killua is doubting him.

Gon slows his walk. "There's something I want to prove to you. I want to show you I can do the same."

Killua scoffs, looks pointedly at his arms. "You've been able to carry me since we were twelve, Gon."

"That's not what I mean, Killua."

"Then what do you mean?" Killua's lips twist down. "You're doing it as some form of payback. Like saving you is- is a bank exchange."

Gon stops. There is something Killua is trying to conceal in his voice, something lost and upset and betrayed, but Killua cannot hide this from Gon, has not been able to for a long time.

"Killua," he says.

Killua does not look at him.

" _Killua_ ," he repeats.

Kilua looks up, reluctantly.

"I didn't think about it at first, back when we first started this. I'm not acting because I feel like I owe you or something. I'm here with you because I want to be together with you."

"Then why did you start feeling like you have to? Like you _need_ to?"

"I don't _need_ to-"

"That's not what you said before."

"You're not listening. I need to so I can show you I can do the same as you." Killua's eyes are pools, wide and open and vulnerable, and- and suddenly Gon can see everything clearly. "I guess I wasn't saying it right. I meant like, I _want_ to do the same for you.

Killua breathes, like he doesn't care hope, and Gon burns on the inside. 

"I wanna prove to you that I want this as much as you. I will care for you as much as you care for me."

Killua catches on. "You will carry me as much as I carried you," he says, faintly.

"I will carry you as much as you carried me," repeats Gon.

Killua stares, the thoughts swirling under his lashes, and finally he accepts it, his shoulders sagging. The moment recedes like a wave at the shore, quiet.

"Oh my god," Killua burrows his head into Gon's jacket. "Why can't you be a normal person and just say that?"

"What? That I wanna show you I love you the same way you love me?"

Killua tenses, winces at the words. "Yeah, that."

"Mm," Gon says, shrugging. "It doesn't mean anything if I can't show it, too."

Killua groans. "You're so weird," he says, more tired than upset.

Gon doesn't think so, it makes perfect sense to him - but he's not gonna argue with Killua. Not right now, anyway. The wind breathes out and starts another tune in Gon's ears.

Killua is falling asleep in his arms again. Gon melts - he can't help it. How can he love this boy so much?

"You love it though, right? Doing this?" Gon whispers, smiles like he knows the answer. He knows Killua understands the question.

Killua breathes a little laugh. "Yeah yeah," he says, the words lacking their usual bluster. "You got me." He's almost dozing right now, and maybe that's why he admits it so easily- "I fucking love being carried like a princess."

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote like 4 drafts of this , Serious Teens Talking Seriously is not my forte, so crit would be appreciated. 
> 
> id like to thank everyone for all the comments/kudos/bookmarks on this silly series, it really made me happy and eager to write again after so long, and i think this is a fitting end to the princess carry adventures, tho ofc it doesnt Really end until gon carries killua to the wedding altar and its renamed to a bridal carry.  
> thank you so much for the encouragement the past two weeks! i really would not have written more if it wasnt for you all.


End file.
